The Talegate Podcast

S2E3 - Lake Worth Monster of Fort Worth, Texas

April 12, 2022 Harrison the Florida Man & Aaron the Cheesehead Season 2 Episode 3
The Talegate Podcast
S2E3 - Lake Worth Monster of Fort Worth, Texas
Show Notes Transcript

When it comes to Cryptids, he is the G.O.A.T. (or at least half goat). We speak, of course, of the The Lake Worth Monster! This week, we hoofed it over to Lake Worth, Texas, just outside of Dallas, for an interview  with their very own semi-aquatic satyr. Lake Worth itself is  a reservoir and recreationional area created in 1914, but it wasn't until 1969 when local teens reported an attack while driving by a horned terror stalking the shore. Ever since, several eye-witnesses have come forward and the legend of the Lake Worth Monster has grown to a point where an annual festival is celebrated in its honor!

The Lake Worth Monster is voiced by fellow Texan, Jonathan Perez. Jonathan now resides in Los Angeles with an extensive career as storyboard artist. You can follow him on Instagram @jonathanbperez and check out his website, for his professional storyboard art, movie poster designs, and more.

You can check us out on Spotify, Apple, Listen Notes, Deezer, Podchaser, Audible, iHeart Radio, and other podcast directories as well as right here on our very own website. We encourage you to share our podcast with others, leave reviews on Apple Podcast, and catch up with any episodes you missed! It would really mean a lot. Give us a follow on Instagram @thetalegatepodcast.  Tell us stories of your own encounters & any local legends you would like us to explore, or reach out if you would fancy a guest spot on our show or would like to feature us on yours by shooting an email to!

See you later, Talegaters!


"The Lake Worth Monster" played by Jonathon Perez
“Cheese Head” played by Aaron Sherry
“Florida Man” played by Harrison Foreman
"Talegate Theme" by Mat Jones

Written & Edited by Harrison Foreman

Support the show


FLORIDA MAN: Howdy folks, and welcome to The Talegate!

CHEESEHEAD: For those of you just joining us, we’re on a roadtrip across America to uncover the mysteries behind tall tales, fairy tales, folktales, fishtales, & urban legends, one interview at a time.

FM: We inherited a truck from our late Granny May and discovered that the crystal hanging off the rearview mirror was more than decorative. It’s a Dowsing Pendulum leading us to the good folks behind the tales we all grew up with.

CH: We accidentally stole a canopic jar belonging to the mummy of Pharaoh Ay, who awoke from his eternal slumber and placed a death curse on us. But who’s got four collective thumbs and shipped the jar right back to the museum where it belongs to break the curse? 

CH/FM: Theeeese guys!

FM: And with that triumphant note, I’m Harrison, the “no-longer-cursed” Florida Man. 

CH: Oh, and I’m Aaron the “equally non-cursed (I sure gosh-darn-hope),” Cheesehead! And today we come to you about 40 minutes west of Dallas, in Fort Worth, Texas, the fifth largest city in the Lone Star State. 

FM: Fifth largest city in Texas?

CH: Yah, weird flex if you ask me.

FM: The Republic of Texas was founded in 1836 and them settlers took very little time to piss on the indegeous folk who once and rightfully called this place home. In fact, right here in the Fort Worth area, state senator and slave owner, Mirabeau Buonaparte Lamar had led an “exterminating war” against the native inhabitants to carry out “their total extinction or total expulsion.” In 1841, he brought the fight to the native residence of Village Creek, made up of Cherokees, Creeks, Seminoles, Kickapoos, Shawnees, and Caddo & Wichita groups.

CH: Sounds like a real swell guy.

FM: I’m tellin’ ya. Still got several grade schools ‘round here named after the bastard.

CH: Isn’t the largest city in Florida named after “Trail of Tears” President Andrew Jackson?

FM: You ain’t lyin’. Now, ‘bout Fort Worth:

CH: Though originally a settler’s outpost, the site was officially named, “Fort Worth” on November 14th, 1849 after General William Jenkins Worthmore who served during the War of 1812, the Second Seminole War, and the Mexican–American War.

FM: I think most people forgot what the War of 1812 even was. 

CH: I know I did.

FM: We went to war with Britain again after the Revolution. 

CH: You don’t say? While Fort Worth obviously has a robust history, it also houses a dark and mysterious secret along the shores of the titularly named, Lake Worth.

FM: That’s right. We ain’t just here fishin’ bass. I mean, we are fishin’ bass, caught a few to fry up later, but now we done hooked somethin’ even better!

CH: Better than a fish fry?

LAKE: Oh, it’s beeeetter, alright. [Accidentally gulps water while talking] Ugh... shit, fuck me!

FM: There he is, swimming towards us! The Lake Worth Monster!

LAKE: [under breath] Note to self, don't try to talk while treading water. [aloud] Welcome to Lake Worth, Talegaters!

CH: Our pleasure, Mr. Worth Monster!

FM: Yea, happy to be here, man! But before we get down to business, what we drinking today, Cheesehead?

CH: Today’s beer is called, “Hopadillo IPA” by Texas’s own, Karbach Brewing Company. 

FM: Ooo, it’s got a ravenous cryptid on the can art-- a bi-pedal mutated armadillo with a shell made of hops!

CH: This IPA weighs in at 6.6 ABV, so you’ll get more flavor, less bite. Honestly, that’s how I prefer my IPAs.

LAKE: Plus, Hopadillo is a pretty great guy.

FM: For an armadillo, he looks pretty damn big.

LAKE: Everything’s bigger here.

FM: Touche.

CH: Wait, The Hopadillo is real?

LAKE: Real as the Texas County.

CH: Wait, Texas has a real county called Real County?!

FM: I like how the real life monster in front of your face don’t impress you half as much as a place called “Real County.”

Part 2: The Legend of Lake Worth Monster

CH: Okay, real talk: I think our podcasting career has desensitized me to otherworldly terrors. So anyway, Lake Worth Monster...

LAKE: Ahem. My full name is Lakewell Monstradamus Worthington, but my monster friends call me ... L-Dubz.

CH: Alrighty then L-Dubz. How’s about you tell us a little bit about yoursel--

LAKE: My monster friends call me L-Dubz. 

CH: Uff da! Sorry about that. 

LAKE: No harm, no foul.

FM: Reckon one could argue Humans are Earth’s truest monsters.

LAKE: You know, I’ll give you that one. L-Dubz it is then.

CH: Swell! So L-Dubz, how’s about you tell us a little bit about yourself? I mean, being the imposing beast that you are, you’re bound to have a killer backstory.

LAKE: Love to share! As you can see, I am essentially a white-furred and seven-foot goatman stalking the islands and shores of Lake Worth, Texas. 

FM: I’m readin’ here that local folks referred to you as "a half-man, half-goat, with fur and scales." Which is a might strange considering the “scales” part. 50% man plus 50% goat equals 0% scales.

CH: Yah, what do you gotta say about that?

FM: Yea!



LAKE: Locals ‘round these parts aren’t exactly known for their math skills.

FM: That checks.

CH: Oh yah, 100%. I’m not a math guy either. Florida Man, you a math guy?

FM: Definitely not a math guy.

LAKE: One number that locals did get right is ‘69.

CH: Heyooo!

FM: Awww yeaaa!

LAKE: As in the year, 1969. 

FM: Exactly whys were excited! That’s the year Hanna-Barbara’s Scooby-Doo, Where Are you! made its television debut, which is partially what inspired us to travel in our very own makeshift Mystery Machine to discover the truths behind folktales, fairytales, talltales, fishtails, and urban legends.

CH: One interview at a time!

LAKE: Wow, yea I definitely thought you were going somewhere else with that, so thanks for sparing me an incredibly awkward conversation. Anyway, yes, 1969 was a big year for me, as it was the very year I made my own debut to humans. Only, it wasn’t nearly as well-received as Scooby-Doo.

CH: Wowzers, tell us all about it!

LAKE: So Lake Worth is home to three islands: Willow Island, Goat Island, and Greer Island. I was born right out there on Greer.

FM: Hold up. You’re a monster half-man/half-goat (scaley parts, notwithstanding), and you weren’t born on Goat Island?

LAKE: Were you born at Human Hospital?

FM: I sure weren’t.

LAKE: Okay then, see? It’s not weird. It’s not uncommon for Goatmen to live near water either. I was born on Greer Island, my cousin in Kentucky was born by Pope-Lick Creek; Maryland Goat-Man by the Potomac River... you get the idea. We generally feed off the fish and game within the rivers and lakes.

FM: Heck yea, we grabbed some fish from this lake earlier!

LAKE: Our body chemistry is specifically evolved for the consumption of Lake Worth fish, but the ones here contain high levels of dioxins and PCB which are super harmful to humans so you’re probably better off releasing those fish.

CH: Ah geez. Awfully kind of you to look out for us like that.

LAKE: Yea, it’s almost as if I’m not a heartless sociopath.

FM: Who ever said you was?

LAKE: Literally every other person I’ve interacted with thinks I’m the bad guy. Besides the Little Red Sisterhood, they’re pretty upright gals.

FM: For y’all folks at home listenin’ who don’t know didilly dick ‘bout what he just said, the Little Red Sisterhood is a trio of warrior women protecting humanity from werewolves, vampires, and witches. The squad includes Little Red, Greta the Witchhunter, and Vanessa Helsing, respectively.

CH: Oh yah, go back to give our Season-One finale a listen, why doncha?

LAKE: Otherwise, humans are pretty crummy -- no offense. They pollute my lake. Over fish and under conserve. It’s a crying shame. And to have the audacity to think I’m the bad guy here for simply protecting my home?

FM: Now, when you say, “protecting,” what all does that entail? Like, callin’ your local governor?

CH: Peaceful protests at City Hall?

LAKE: No, more like wrecking cars and hurling tires at the wasteful and littering numbskulls who take advantage of Nature’s gifts.

FM: Daaaamn, son! You’re wrecking shit more than Whedon wrecked the theatrical Justice League movie.

LAKE: Exactly! See, you get!

CH: Wait a sec, “Nature’s gifts?” It says here on this historical placard that Lake Worth was created in 1914 as a reservoir and recreationional area, so it was manmade. That’s like the complete opposite of Nature’s Gift. 

LAKE: Okay okay, you got me there. Look, between us, there’s a bit of a war going on between the Goatfolk, such as I, and El Chupacabra.

FM: Why?

LAKE: Their name literally translates to “Goat sucker.”

CH: Yah, you’re only half-goat though.

LAKE: You’re missing the point. El Chupacabra declared war when they came over here on our turf attacking our goats. 

CH: While I understand why you’re upset with El Chupacabra, that doesn’t explain your attacks on people. According to my sources, i.e. my iphone here with it’s bluelight burning holes through my retinas, you crunched cars and chucked tires at innocent humans.

LAKE: Innocent humans? What kool-aid have you been drinking? Innocent humans, BaAaaAah. How about I tell you the real story-- wait. Out of beer.

FM: Shit. Gotcha covered. Heads up!

LAKE: Thanks man, cheers.

FM/CH: Cheers!

LAKE:  How about I tell you the reeeeal story behind the “Legend of the Lake Worth Monster?”

CH: Sounds good to me.

FM: Plus, it’d be weird if you told us the fake story.

LAKE: Let’s rewind a hot minute. Do you like Bryan Adams?

CH: Sure do! Why?

LAKE: Because it was the summer of 69

CH: Ah yes, another 69 joke. We like to keep things classy here on The Talegate.

LAKE: The night was hot and humid, and swarming with mosquitoes. I was hiding high in the branches of a tree off of Shoreline Road, waiting to ambush Los Chupacabras who were sure to attack the goat I had tied up as bait. This particular goat was one of the ones that I freed from the petting zoo at Six Flags Over Texas.

FM: Y’all got a pettin’ zoo at your Six Flags?

LAKE: Back then we did. Eventually, los chupacabras took the bait, ambushing my goat like Texans at a Golden Corral.

FM: Uuuuh. Los Chupacabras?

LAKE: Right! A whole gang of those little punkass turds started rolling into my little trap precisely as planned. And then they showed up.

CH: Ah geez, who’s they?

LAKE: A group of college kids drove up with their lights flaring, 8-track blaring, and making all kinds of racket. Once Los Chupacabras heard them coming, they scurried off into the night. My whole plan down the drain, just like that.

FM: What’d ya do then? Chase them lil Chupz and show ‘em what’s up?

LAKE: No! I mean, I wish I had done that; that would have actually been a lot more productive and totally made sense. But NO! I leapt from the trees, landing onto the teenager’s car with a thunderous crash!

FM: That’s only fair. They dropped in your hood, so you dropped in on theirs.

LAKE: Exactly!

CH: Did you kill the teenagers good and dead?

LAKE: I mentioned that I wasn’t a sociopath earlier. 

CH: Sure did.

LAKE: Well I’m not a psychopath, either.

CH: Definitely grateful for that.

FM: Did the right thing man. Many a cryptid would prolly kill for less.

LAKE: Many a human would kill for less less.

FM: Touche touche.

LAKE: But do you know what those teens did to repay my kindness? They filed a report that night claiming this: “the monster tried grabbing one of the women, but the kids peeled out before he could haul her off.” 

CH: Was she hot though?

LAKE: Nasty! Why would anyone think I’m interested in human girls? Humans have such round tiny heads, frail bone stature, and ugly wriggling toes on their feet. Barf that. Give me a real woman with thicc curvy horns, some meat on their bones, and sturdy cloven hooves. Now that’s a woman. Well, that’s a goat-woman.

CH: Hey man, my girlfriend’s an alien with an eerily featureless face and mannequin-est body, so I’m not one to judge.

FM: And MY wife is... a very stunning and conventionally beautiful woman. Wait, hold up now, Cheesehead, girlfriend? Since when did you make it official with Dr. Quinn? Because that’s what we’re callin’ her now, Dr. Quinn.

CH: Since she burned “BF: Y/N?” into a cornfield with her spaceship and texted me an aerial photo of it. I circled “Y”. 

FM: Damn, that’s awesome! Where you takin’ her out to? Waffle House? Huddle House?

CH: I mean, balls in her court, so I’m not entirely sure. But I’m thinking Ihop.

FM: Damn dude, Ihop? Didn’t know y’all were that serious already. Oh, and for y’all folks who weren’t payin’ attention, Dr. Quinn is the lady who abducted us during Episode 12: The Aliens of Pascagoula River.

CH: She also saved our butts during our subsequent Dashboard Chat featuring The Men in Black.

FM: Yea, them MIB are still after us.

LAKE: Oh hey, remember how I was in the middle of a story?

FM: One might say we were butting-in

LAKE: What? What, is that a goat joke?

CH: Don’t insult him, Florida Man. If he’s triggered he may go on a... ram-page.

FM: And beats us up like the Karate-Kid.

CH: I was going to say the same joke, but you bleat me to it!

[Fading sound of water splashing]

FM: On noooo, L-Bubz, don’t swim away!

CH: Ah geez, come back! We were only joking, dontcha know!

FM: Seriously, didn’t mean to get your...

CH: Don’t say it.

FM: Goad.

CH: Goad?

FM: Yea... get your goad. That’s a normal-ass saying.

LAKE: It’s “get your Goat.” ...goddammit.

FM: Hey, that was were you done said it, not me.

LAKE: Fine. FINE. That gets a pass BUT y’all only get one more chance, you hear me?

CH/FM [Celebrate]

LAKE: [while swimming] So, as I was saying, the college punks who ruined my chupacabr-- [Accidentally gulps water while talking] Ugh... fuck, not again!

CH: Wowzers, let’s help him!

FM: Hell yea, finally get to use that CPR certification I’ve never used and only vaguely remember.

LAKE: I’m fine, I’m fine! Wait-- you’d really give CPR to a goat-man?

FM: No. I’d give CPR... to a friend

LAKE: That’s... that’s actually very touching. I mean, I probably wouldn’t do the same, no offense.

FM: None taken. My lips are pretty chapped anyway. Fresh outta Burt’s Bees.

LAKE: I do appreciate the sentiment, though. So anyway: when the college punks who ruined my chupacabra hunt originally called the police, the officers laughed it off as a prank. But the conviction of the witnesses paired with the 18 inch rip through their carside sparked a full out investigation for whom they now dubbed, “The Lake Worth Monster.” And the rest of the town ate it up. “Monster-fever,” they called it.

CH: With monster-fever at large, what ever became of their eye-witness testimonies?

LAKE: Despite a police investigation, no evidence of my whereabouts were found, neither on the shores of Lake Worth or Greer Island. 

FM: Dang, you sure know how to hide evidence.

LAKE: Nah, I just lucked out. I actually live on the adjacent Willow Island, the one island they never thought to look at. I was just chillin’ taking a nap that day, so all in all, the day could gone a lot worse. At least for them.

Part 3: Evidence of Lake Worth Monster

CH: Alrighty then, now that we’ve talked about your legend, hows about we talk about the evidence behind your legend?

FM: That’s right! ‘Cause we’re about to play a lil game we love here on the Talegate called, Is This You? Where we relay oral, photo, and video evidence and you tell us If It’s You!

LAKE: Should be easy enough.

CH: So we already established that the report from 1969 was indeed you.

LAKE: Actually, there were several reports throughout 1969. As mentioned, “monster fever” sparked the imagination of many locals. 

FM: Speakin’ of which, at 1:35 a.m. Nov. 19, of the very same year, a polaroid was taken of you by a feller named Allen Plaster, as seen here. By the way, all photos we mention here will be posted to our Instagram @thetalegatepodcast. It’s a black and white picture of a tall, white, fluffy-lookin’, and sorta humanoid shape. So Lakewell Worthington, Is This You?

LAKE: Talk about a throw-back! That picture was taken by the old Nature Center. It’s the right height for sure. Color, too. But this looks more like a billow of smoke, honestly. If it were me, it’d have a face. Horns. Hooves. You know... things 7-foot tall goat-men tend to have.

FM: Good point. So maybe Allen was a charlatan then?

LAKE: I don’t think so. It was at the height of Lake Worth Monster Mania and he himself only ever described the photo as a “white furball.” I’m sure a tall white puff of whatever it was he saw, was enough to rightfully spook him. He mentioned in 2006 that he believed it to have been a “prank” because “whatever it was, it wanted to be seen.” And he was probably right.

CH: Sightings of the Lake Worth Monster vanished as soon as school began, so Plaster’s suspicions of prankers behind many of your sightings seems pretty likely.

LAKE: In a 2005 edition of Lake Worth Star-Telegram, they published an anonymous letter they received from a person claiming to have been one of three of the hooligans behind some of the pranks, apparently using tin foil masks to scare folks.

CH: According to the magazine simply titled, Forth Worth, Texas, they, too, received an anonymous tip in 2009 by a fella taking credit for the tire hurled at those teens.

LAKE: There is a fine line between coming forward in earnest to admit to decades-old pranks and simply claiming to have been behind my actual handiwork. Anyway, any more pictures to show me? 

FM: Uhhh... nope. Nope, just that one.

LAKE: Well, that was an incredibly short game and not at all a waste of time.

CH: Yah, I’m sure you folks at home feel really enriched.

FM: Usually, we got loads of evidence, but I reckon you’re just too slick to leave as much behind. I think a lot of what threw folks off your scent was the suspicion and eventual admission of pranks. But while you specifically don’t got much evidence to chew on, Satyrs such as yerself sure as shit do.

CH: Sure. As. Shit.

LAKE: I mean, we have been around for centuries and are cultured to boot. Music, dance, merriment, all these positive vibes used to be attributed to the likes of Pan and even earlier to the Proto-Indo-Euro-god, Pushan.

CH: Puchaeon?

LAKE: Pushan. It’s English translation doesn’t stray far from its roots, as Pushan literally translates to “Pasture,” as he, like Pan, was the god of pasture, shepards, and flocks. 

FM: Ironic, considerin’ satyrs' these days are attributed more to antichrist symbology.   

CH: “Symbology.” Sure that’s a word?

FM: Prolly ain’t. Point bein’, it’s ironic that what was once the patron of shepherds became the antithesis of Jesus, the Good Shepherd, according to Psalm 23, which reads:

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

  and Ezekiel 34 readin’:

For thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. 

LAKE: Interesting. What does the Bible have to say to the matter of Satyrs?

CH: Oh good question! To which... I have no answer to. 

FM: Fortunately, I attended Pentacostal Sunday school. Well, maybe “Fortunately,” ain’t the word. Anyway, the term “Satyr,” fars I know, appears twice in the King James, both in Isaiah.

LAKE: Interesting. Do tell.

FM: Welp, Isaiah 13:21 says, 

But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there

LAKE: Sounds like Pan, God of the forests and lover of dance and song, yanno, hence the Pan Flute.

FM: Well, then in Isaiah 34:15, it continues, 

The wild beasts of the desert shall also meet with the wild beasts of the island, and the satyr shall cry to his fellow; the screech owl also shall rest there, and find for herself a place of rest.

LAKE: I mean, I am a Satyr and wild beast from an island, so maybe this verse is on to something.

FM: True. But translations can be tricky. Seems the word “Satyr” in this case is believed by scholars to just mean wild goats, though I’ve ever only seen bighorn sheep in the desert, personally. At any rate, the verses equate the satyr not to the day-lite demi-god of forest, but a darker, moon-lit beast of impurity and mischief.

CH: That makes sense. Goats have long been seen as demonic iconomy.

FM: Iconomy? Is that even a word? 

CH: Probably not. Anyway, nocturnal critters in general, which includes a large host of desert wildlife. Snakes, foxes, coyotes and owls, as the verse mentions.

FM: Hopefully we won’t come across no big scary owls on our trip. That’d just be awful. Especially if it were in like... next week’s episode.

CH: Are you trying to hint at something?

FM: Nope.

CH: It sounds like you’re trying to hint at something. 

LAKE: What it sounds like a sour stereotype if you ask me. Goats aren’t even nocturnal, so why are we lumped into that group? 

CH: Is that all Christianity has to say about Satyrs?

FM: Yep.

LAKE: Weeeellll, actually 2 Nephi 23:21 has a thing or two to say about us, if I recall.

FM: I ain’t never heard of no Nephi.

CH: The grape soda from M.A.S.H.?

FM:Weren’t that NEHI? Speakin’ of which, anyone remember peach NEHI? I used to guzzle that shit all day long as a kid. 

LAKE: Nephi -- Neh-Fee! Again, we satyrs stem from well-cultured lineage that often takes deeper looks into historical and theological texts for truth. Nephi is believed by some to be a prophet, appearing within the Book of Mormon.

CH: Saw that musical. Loved it.

FM: Ah yea, we saw that in Tampa together!

LAKE: I swear the both of you have an attention span smaller than the presidential approval ratings. Annnnnyways, the verse states, 

But wild beasts of the desert shall lie there; and their houses shall be full of doleful creatures; and owls shall dwell there, and satyrs shall dance there.

CH: Sounds an awful lot like what Florida Man just read from Isaiah.

LAKE: That’s because those books all reflect the carnage of Babylon. Unfortunately, satyrs at large over the centuries have been pretty demonized. 

CH: For what it’s worth though, not ALL goatmen in the modern zeitgeist are reflected negatively.


LAKE: You don’t say? 

CH: Sure. I mean,-- oh wait. Were you being sarcastic? Ah heck, I’m just going to continue anyway: We’re going to look at some literature. Pan, the minor deity from Greek mythology, inspired the titular character in J.M. Barrie’s 1904 play and subsequent 1911 novel, Peter Pan aka The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up aka Peter Pan and Wendy.

FM: Yanno, I never thought of that. Or even know Peter Pan were a play before it were a novel. 

CH: I learned that from the podcast, We Three English Majors.

LAKE: Peter does play the Pan Flute for nymphs just as the god Pan once did, so that’s a sweet nod.

CH: In 1950, CS Lewis published the first novel from his series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. This debuts a fan favorite character, Mr Tumnus, who is a faun, described as a humanoid with horns and goat legs.

LAKE: My personal favorite goat-man in modern literature is Marko from Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples’s comic book masterpiece, Saga.

CH: Oh yah, satyrs have become a staple in the fantasy genre, doncha know. So it’s by no surprise that both the jovial Satyrs and the more devilish Tieflings are races within the Forgotten Realms of Dungeons and Dragons.

FM: And speakin’ of fantasy games, you’re actually a featured Beastie in the inaugural set of the new cryptid-based Trading Card Game, MetaZoo!

LAKE: Like, me specifically, or just goat-men in general?

FM: You, buddy. The Lake Worth Monster! You definitely outta check out Metazoo.

CH: I’ve heard of that card game. Largely because you keep posting your cards on our Instagram.

FM: Cause the cards are cool as hell it’s hard to limit myself to their Discord and forums. Here’s the Lake Worth Monster card, see?

LAKE: Oh wow! Definitely nailed my likeness with the white fur and horns. HAH! My attack is called, “Car Wreck.” Someone did their research.

FM: Yep, you get more powerful if an Island is in play, too.

CH: These MetaZoo cards... so they’re a Cryptid TCG with the aesthetic of 90’s Pokemon?

FM: Mhm!

CH: I’m lovin’ that. So beyond having your handsome mug on the hella cool card art, you also have a festival named in your honor. "Lake Worth Monster Bash" every four years.

FM: That sounds like a hella fun time! 

LAKE: Sure is! The Lake Worth Monster Bash has hayrides, guided hikes, canoeing, and cryptozoology presentations. It’s generally held in October as well for those creepy Halloween vibes. Y’all should come some time!

CH: Oh you betcha!

FM: Yea, love to. You’ve been?

LAKE: Sure I have! I don’t even need a disguise. I just walk around in the buff and people think I’m some ding-dong human in a costume.

CH: Lake Worth has really seemed to embrace their local monster lore. Fort Worth Water Department has their own podcast called H2OMG Podcast, and they ran a multi-part series on you.

FM: Not to mention you’re a staple on dozens if not hundreds of other cryptid podcasts out there.

LAKE: Speaking of cryptid podcasts, uh... long do your episodes usually go on for?

CH: Tooooo long.

FM: Message received. Welp folks, thank you for joinin’ us for yet another exciting episode--

CH: Eh.

FM: Engagin’ episode?

LAKE: Hmmm.

FM: Uh... just episode?

CH: Yah, who are we kidding. We’re basic. And special thanks to the Lake Worth Monster for sharing his incredible stories and clearing up any misconceptions regarding his character, his people, and his lore.

LAKE: Pleasure’s mine. We did admittedly get off on the wrong hoof, but y’all boys ain’t half ba-a-a-ad.

FM: Yea, sure did get off to a gruff start!

LAKE: I take back everything that I just said.

CH: And before we get headbutted into oblivion, just like to thank you all for listening!

FM: For any questions, corrections, or personal stories you’d like us to share, please write to So far zero people have written us in, and boy does that feel great. Don’t forget to follow us on Instagram for photos, cast info, updates, and more.

CH: And if you liked what you heard, be a pal and subscribe to The Talegate Podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or your favorite podcast directory. Rate and review while you’re at it, why doncha? It would really help us out.

FM: See ya later, Talegaters!

LAKE: Thank you all for joining us on the latest episode of The Talegate Podcast! For the record, “Symbology” and “Iconomy” are both actual words. Lakewell Monstradamus Worthington, aka Lake Worth Monster, is played by Jonathan Perez. You can follow him on Instagram @jonathanbperez and check out his website, for his professional storyboard art, movie poster designs, and more. [Add any other plugs you wish]

Aaron the Cheesehead is played by Aaron Sherry, you can check him out on his Youtube channel, So Can You and on Instagram @aaronunabridged. Harrison the Florida Man is played by Harrison Foreman. Theme Song is performed by Mat Jones. This episode is written and edited by Harrison Foreman.